


Introduction To Platonic Intimacy

by SomeoneWillDieToday



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Brotp, Enemies to Friends, Epic Friendship, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Soulmates, Trans Britta Perry, also, because I said so, i love them, seriously their friendship is underrated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeoneWillDieToday/pseuds/SomeoneWillDieToday
Summary: This was originally a multichap thing but then I realized that I had no idea what I'm doing so now it's just one shots of Jeff and Britta being cute friends and maybe other community stuff
Relationships: Britta Perry & Jeff Winger
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. Remedial Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britta doesn't know what a year she's in for. Well, at least she's got her cats.

Britta didn't quite know how she had ended up here. Well, she _knew_ , but you know. The Anherchists had crashed and burned, turning her life's work into one big joke. It felt like this place was _mocking_ her, and she wanted to spit in it's face. It didn't have a face, so she had spit in the bushes. Good enough for now. She didn't even know what her major was, or how you officially chose a major, or how many classes of something you have to take for it to be considered a major. Basically, she was clueless.

The bell chimed, and she stood up from her desk, gathering her stuff. A pencil fell of the desk and rolled away. She groaned and went to get it, but a young man was holding it already. She grabbed it out of his hands. "Thanks, I'm Britta."

"Abed", he responded, not seeming offended by the rude gesture. He was tall and lean, possibly surpassing six feet in height, and towered over her, even in her high-heeled boots.

She offered a hand to shake, but pulled it back after a few seconds of it hanging there

Britta turned to leave, "I'm cramming for the test right now, sorry if I seem cold," she said while walking.

"No problem," he said, not changing his tone. 

She walked out the door and into the hallway. Students walked around her, chattering like a famous celebrity had visited their joke of a school. She weaved her way through the maze and exited into the courtyard.

It was 1:00 and the sun brightly lit the pavillion and slapped her in the face. The dean stood next to his boombox, reading off a new set of announcements in a high pitched, cheerful tone. People leaned against trees and sat on the grass, talking and doing homework. She saw a girl and a guy doing some serious PDA on a picnic blanket. Gross. What is it with horny people?

She lit a ciggarette and walked along the road towards her apartment. It dangled from her mouth and fell out along the way when she was zoned out. Her thoughts ran around in her head, becoming there own entities within themselves. The noise was louder than a fire siren. The summer had not yet let go, and it was still warm. Nevertheless, she shivered whenever a car passed, the slight breeze startling her from her loud thoughts. She wished she wasn't so jumpy about these things.

As she approached the building, she rustled around in her pocket to find her keys. They fell out on the ground. She bent to pick them up and opened the door. Her cats were there to greet her, pawing at her legs as she walked through the door. Britta picked her cat up, stroked her back and said"Aren't you a good kitty? Yes, you're a good kitty. You're a good kitty." in the way people talk to cats and small children.

Wonder purred, nuzzling her face and looking lovingly through her one eye. Britta gave her a peck on the nose before setting her down.

She sat at her table and stared blankly at her notes. She was going to fail Spanish. Yes, this is a _great _start to college__

____

____

She was in the cafeteria, eating her lunch and wondering why the red bottle squirted mayo. She picked at her mayo-contaminated previously-vegan food and wondered why not one thing in this goddamn school could make sense.

"Hey, Spanish" said a man.

"Don't hit on me", she said, not bothering to look up.

"No worries, I just wanted to inform you about my Spanish study group."

"No way, the man who plays pong on his phone all class has a _study group_?" She asked with a smirk.

"I'm taking the class for an easy credit, I'm actually a board-certified Spanish tutor."

"Say that in Spanish."

And that was how Britta Perry met Jeff Winger, the moronic asshole that was about to make the next 6 years of her life a great bit more wacky, but also just a little bit better.

Britta is mad after she finds out Jeff orchestrated the whole thing to get in her pants. Yet she stays in the group because she's lonely. She knows that this is as good as it going to get, that she doesn't deserve better than this.

She doesn't register that things might have changed between her and Jeff until they're walking together one day, talking about Shirley or something or other..

"We just walked all that way without any awkward pauses. That's a sign of true friendship." said Jeff, beaming at her with a smug smile..

She smiled back, "Glad you're not hitting on me anymore." A silence followed, "There it is.".

Although she had successfully dismantled the idea they were friends, she wondered about it. Did it really mean something that they could go 100 feet without pausing? It couldn't, right? Because that would mean that she was beginning to like him, and that was simply impossible.

Vaughn was fun. Yeah, he was a little odd(more than a little) and a little sappy(more than a little), but who cared? They laughed, and had fun, and had sex, and that was all there was to it. But lately, he was starting to be, relationshipy... It made her uncomfortable. She didn't _want_ a relationship. She had never wanted a relationship. Not with him at least..

Vaughn sent her a poem. This wasn't what she expected. Maybe she should have expected it. It was exactly a thing he would do. She showed the poem to Jeff..

"Like, how do you even respond to that? Thank you?" She asked.

"I don't know," said Jeff. "Can I see it?".

She showed it to him. He grabbed his phone..

"I need to read a text message." He said. "Reading, reading, reading, read." He put down the phone and gave the poem back to her..

She didn't question it.

"You showed the poem to Shirley?!" she said, raising her voice. "I _trusted_ you.".

"I'm sorry," he said. "I guess I couldn't handle being just one of the girls.".

"Hmph, well, you should be able to. Can't you take know for an answer?".

"Is there somewhere on the friend spectrum between total stranger and having to hear about the guys you date?" He asked her..

"I guess so," she conceded. "Also, we weren't dating. It was just casual sex.".

Jeff smirked, "Sure. Maybe you should have communicated that to him. I can't believe you fucked a hippie, I thought you were smarter than me.".

"Well, I did, and you can't do anything about it. And no, I'm just as much of a dumbass as you." she smirked..

"Thought so."

"You don't even want to be my friend!" she cried..

"Was that what you thought I meant? I just didn't want to take sex off the table before I was done striking out.".

"While I assure you, you're done.".

"Alright then, let me help you _not_ get kicked out of school."

The trial began in the pool area, which had some fancy name she couldn't remember. The dean, Chang, and Duncan stood to judge her. She was just about to be acquitted, when guilt overcame her and she yelled, "Wait! I cheated.".

"Your honor, my client did not cheat.".

"Yes. I. Did." She glared at him.

"Your honor, may a request a recess." Jeff asked the dean..

"There will be no recess to the cause of justice." The dean said with a raised fist. Water sprayed from the pool onto the table. "Time out! Save the table! Save the table!".

Jeff and Britta sat in the locker room. The pool area had been evacuated due to risk of electrocution, so thankfully, there was no naked people. It smelled like chlorine..

"What was that?" Jeff asked incredulously..

"I cheated. You know I have a problem with dishonesty. I honestly left that crib sheet on the floor on purpose. I knew I was gonna fuck up, so why wait?" She was stunned by the words that had come out of her mouth. Had she just told _that_ to this selfish asshole..

Jeff paused and took in a breath, "I think we have our case.".

Jeff somehow managed to clear her name by claiming she was crazy. She was honestly surprised it worked, and she wondered if you could actually use that argument in court. Society was fucked up. He was right though, if crazy people couldn't come to Greendale, where would they go? She didn't know where she would be, anyway. As Britta walked home that day, she knew something had changed. She, Britta Perry, was crazy. And she liked that, because being normal was hard in a world of crazy, and she would be better off going with the flow.


	2. Advanced Germ Transmission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I promise there will be a plot at some point. This chapter is technically part of the plot if you look at the end of the chapter, but really I'm just writing by the seat of my pants so stick with me here. Here's some weird sick-ficcy fluff because why the hell not.

When Britta woke up, her head felt heavy. Her stomach ached when she tried to move and she felt both hot and cold at the same time. She forced herself out of bed, setting her bare feet down on the cold floor, turning on the lights, and grabbing her thermometer from the closet. She stuck it under her tongue with a grunt, ignoring the urge to gag. 101.3. Great.

She forced herself to pick up her phone. Jeff was chosen to call in sick to. He was probably the worst one to call, but she tried anyway.

"Hello?" Came from the other end of the phone.

"It's Britta," she choked out.

"Britta, it's 7:00 in the fucking morning!" She could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

She coughed, "I'm sick, can you email Chang and tell him I can't come into class today?"

"Fine, you're the worst." He said, groaning loudly.

"Y'know, that's not a very respectful thing to say to-", he hung up.

Of course Jeff was an asshole about it. Hot sweat dripped down her forehead. She dropped her phone on the table and fell back into bed. She pulled the blanket over her to ease the chills and didn't bother turning off the lights. Soon, she descended into a feverish sleep.

It was 1:00pm when Britta awoke again. Not feeling any better than before, maybe even worse. Her nostrils and eyes burned while her arms and legs shivered in an imagined cold. Wonder had started sleeping on her belly and gave a jump when Britta started to move. Gritting her teeth, she got out of bed, deciding that she should take some tylenol, and then immediately realized she didn't have at the moment. She brewed some coffee, hoping the caffeine would have a similar effect and prepared to go to the pharmacy. Right as she was about to get dressed, she heard a knock on the door.

She walked(more accurately, stumbled) towards the door and pulled it open. She then proceded to fall onto whoever was on the other side.

"Woah, hi Britts." the person said, pushing her to stand up straight.

"Don't... Call me... Britts." She fell right back onto them.

"Okay sleepy," he said, grabbing her by the shoulders and led her back to her bed. Instead of falling back onto them, she fell onto her bed face first.

"Who is this?" She slurred, head still facing her sheets.

"Your mom," he said.  
"Very mature." She had deduced by then that this was Jeff.

"I am indeed, thank you." He paused. "You sounded terrible this morning. What do you have?"

"Something." The chills started to kick in, so she pulled the blanket over her.

He placed a hand on her forehead, "God, you're hot."

"Thank you, you too. By the way, do you happen to have any tylenol?"

"Of course, want some? Unless if by tylenol you mean drugs, in which case I don't have any."

"In what world does tylenol mean drugs?!"

"I don't know, you use weird code for things."

"'Eating some cake' isn't weird code. All my friends used it."

"Well your friends used weird code."

"Just get me the fucking tylenol."

"Ok"

He went over to the door and walked out. She sighed. He was coming back, of course, because of the fact he left his coat. He wouldn't forget that thing anywhere.

About fifteen minutes later, Jeff entered the apartment again. He grabbed his coat from the rack where he had left it and approached Britta's bed.

"Here, I'll go get some water," he said, handing her the bottle of pills. They were circular and red, with numbers engraved on them. She took two in her hand and closed the bottle.

Jeff came back with water in a mug. Britta popped the pills in her mouth and used it to swallow. She walked back over to the closet and retook her temperature. 103. Shit.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I have a really high temp."

"Come on, get some sleep," Jeff gestured to her bed. "You just need to rest, and I'm about to miss English class."

"Well, if it's such an _inconvenience_ to you, then I'll just fuck off! How about that!"

"Yeah, that would be helpful, actually."

She glared at him.

He sighed, "Look, I'll check on you later, ok?"

"Sure."

"Bye, Britta." He said, taking his coat this time and shutting the door behind him.

Britta was already asleep. In her dreams, she was a weird military-fairy hybrid chasing a bunny-dog. It was as weird as it sounds. It was a very intense dream. Then it morphed into something terrifyingly realistic, and then she woke up in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot shorter than the first one because I'm not usually a person who can write over 1,000 words per chapter. Also, my cat is trying to give my computer a virus by walking on the keyboard. Thanks for the two people who subscribed because no one has ever subscribed to my works before so thanks for the validation.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a Jeff and Britta friendship fic no one asked for. I combined the first two chapters because they were short so here you go(I originally posted them individually) and I'm just plowing through the first six episodes before things get interesting. I just love them and want to express that love. I guess you can read this as romantic? Do whatever you want, I don't care. Anyway, I'll try to update on weekends(Sunday, probably) but I have no concept of time so don't hold me to that. Please leave kudos and comments, I crave validation.


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